First, Although it’s unfortunate when a husband’s errant thoughts manifest into such destructive behaviors.But, its truly a mistake to take those actions as indictments of who they “really” are. We recently relocated to a new state to be closer to my family.I feel the issues are more on his side though (physically mostly).He said throwing a tissue away as he is throwing his phone on the bed. So I reach down and he is exposed and erect so I was like “yeah, you’re really throwing something away.” We fought, he took his phone and slammed it on the ground and shattered it then had me (5 months pregnant) shoved up on the wall yelling at me because I caught him.I couldn’t trust him and I still can’t trust him because I’ve caught him on it multiple times after.It frustrated me terribly in the beginning, but I learned to live with it because I thought everything else was perfect.
Third, your marriage is not over, unless you choose it to be. You must change your behaviors of thought, feeling, speech, and actions. Reading a book or two, even one of mine, will likely not be enough. When you discover your husband is using online dating sites you will automatically assume the worst, imagining he is following through, and meeting other women. That is probably not happening, but it is not too late for your marriage, even if he is.We are great friends, I admired and respected him, and I trusted him completely. I have always been against marriage and felt that it was only because my husband was so exceptional that it made sense (my father abandoned us when we were kids). I don't want to tell my family because I am afraid they will stop respecting him.When I confronted him about the website, I found out that he had been doing it for six months (from the time my second daughter was a month old). A divorce would also cause a lot of heartache in both our families (we are from a country where this is not common). I have asked him to come clean with his parents because it would make me feel like it's a sign of being truly repentant.I have seen “[Cams dot com]”on our bank records and I asked him about it. I didn’t believe it so I checked it out and came to find out it was live porn chat he was paying for! One night I took him out with friends and wanted to go home to have “us time,” but he said he didn’t feel like it.So I laid in bed for about an hour acting like I was asleep. I give him a minute and roll over and ask him what he’s doing.